Friday, October 21, 2005

Get On!

Haven't got much time so I'll keep this brief. (Hurrah! I hear you rejoice.)

Reading are quite simply an each way gift for the Championship at 11/2.

Fill yer boots!

50pts each way Reading for the Championship (11/2 Hills 1/4 1,2,3)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Prostituting Myself...

The for sale sign is up.

I'm looking to sell a bit of myself in the main event at Amsterdam in a couple of weeks.

Now I've got an extra responsibility I can't go round playing 5 grand tournaments every 5 minutes s I've decided to try and sell a bit of my action for the Master Classics.

They are adding 45k so it should be a good value tournament and I have got decent course and distance form, I've played the event 4 times and made the final table twice. If I don't bottle it this time I might even finish better than seventh...

To help cover expenses I am asking for a small premium: 500 Euros for 8% is fair I think.

If you aren't interested, do you really think it's worth your time posting abuse in the comments below? I have heard everything you could throw at me many times before, thankyou.

If you are interested, email me at

End of sales pitch.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Separated At Birth?

Albert Steptoe

Keith "Bendigo" Sloan

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Falling In Love....

An email thudded virtually into my inbox last night from the Poker Bastard.

His legion of fans will be relieved to hear he is still around ready to expose, ridicule and puncture the odd inflated ego.

So, what did I owe the honour of a correspondance from the esteemed PB?

Back in February Poker Europa ran a rather personal attack on me. On the same page there was an article praising the PB. I wrote an email to the PB suggesting it would be rather damn fine if he wrote something rather nasty about Nic Szeremeta who I assumed penned both articles (I have since discovered even though the pieces had a byline of Nic Sz his serpentine former assistant Phil Shaw actuallty penned the bile). The PB responded that if I wanted to write something he would put it up on his blog with total anonymity. I was so damned angry at the time I was sorely tempted to take the caped crusader up on his offer. But, for some reason which escapes me, I decided not to.

Last night's email was basically repeating the offer.

Now, this time, I know why I'm not going to do it.

Because I really don't care anymore.

It's not that I don't support what the PB has set out to do. I do. There is a ridiculously high percentage of tossers, shysters, wankers and gits in poker. I hope the PB exposes as many of them as possible.

It's just my days as the angry young (or not so young) man of poker are behind me.

The reason? Jake. He has changed my priorites completely. I don't care if player A cheated at the Vic. I don't care if player B abused player C at Luton. If player X wants to con player Y, well that is really nothing to do with me.

Jake is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. And most of the time in between too. Yes, I've gone soft. And to be honest I don't really give a damn if that's what you think. Because it's true.

I think I know by now who I can trust in the world of poker and who I can't. I know who the good guys are (and I am relieved to report there are alot of them around) and who the bad guys are. I will just stick to the company of the people I like and trust when I venture back into the poker.

If someone can look at themselves in the mirror and be satisfied what looks back at them what point is there in me telling the world what a tosser they are? It achieves very little apart from making me an enemy. And I've got far too many of them regardless.

Yes, some things continue to upset me. There is a very talented young player I know. He is a good kid and could become a top class player. I fear he is getting himself into the wrong company and will be lead off the right tracks. But, instead of telling the world what is happening to him on this blog, I will buy him a beer and have a quiet word in his shell like. That will be my modus operandi from now on. Keep my head down and get on with my business.

And my business is Jake and Katharine. I think I'm falling in love. And damned good it feels too.

Here's one more picture of Jake just to prove he really isn't ginger. (Not that there is anything wrong with being ginger. It's just that he isn't!)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Introducing the WSOP Champion 2027

Mr Jake Brian Banner Hawkins:

He was only born at 8.18pm on September 30th 2005 and he already knows not to play Ax suited in early position and the folly of trying to steal the big blind from small blind.

He is showing early nipping promise too.

Some Jake special bets:

Spread on how long it will take to change my pokerstars picture to one of him: 4-6 days.

Odds on who Jake ultimately supports: 4/11 QPR 2/1 Darlington 66/1 bar two.

Betting on Jakes first word/phrase: 4/1 Value. 5/1 Lucky. 7/1 Fish. 12/1 Unbelievable. 25/1 You'll be alright. 50/1 Have you got a score until Friday? 100/1 Marvellous.

Months until he plays his first tournament: 60-62

Months until he tells his first bad beat story: 60.1-62.1

Seriously. Mother and Baby are doing great. Father is a bit bewildered but very very happy.
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