Thursday, August 05, 2004

The 11th Commandment

It didn't take long for me to come across a poker annoyance which I didn't include in my article for the Hendon Mob.

It goes something like this.

An online poker pot is split between two players, for ease I will christen them Tosser 1 and Tosser 2. An exchange like this usually occurs on conclusion of the hand:

Tosser 1: "nh"
Tosser 2: "ty u2"
Tosser 1: "lol"
Tosser 2: "lol"

The first time in the history of online poker it might have caused 0.1% of of a smile to say "nh" to the player you split it with, now it just anally retentive and banal.

If you can laugh out loud at a split pot I think there is no hope for you. The men in white coats are coming to take you away shortly...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are becoming a fully fledges misanthrope Keith.


3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a little extreme methinks to pour such vitriol on such trivia. Having said that i must say i've never understood why people say 'ty' when complimented on their 'nh'. why do they think the niceness or otherwise of their hand in any way reflects well on them? they just happened to get dealt it. 'ty' seems an appropriate response to 'wp' be surely not to 'nh', unless of course it is the hand itself that is responding.
christ alive, i must get out more.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Andy_Ward said...

Nope, I can top that - the guy who said "nh" to me after 3/4ing me in an Omaha 8 pot.


4:20 PM  
Blogger The Camel said...


If he was saying "nh" with a heavy dose of sarcasm then it's perfectly ok.

I occasionally use nh when someone shows their hand and its the best preflop but only a small fraction of the money was put in while he was leading.

I'm saying nh instead of "what are you showing that for? you weren't unlucky you twit"

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Titmus here,

I occasionally say nice hand when I beat somebody who's called my made hand with junk, it drives them nuts.

6:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I play a duplicated hand I'm more likely to point out to the oppo that they will go skint if they carry on playing that sort of shit. A 5 minute argument usually follows before it finally dawns on him that sarcasm was involved as I had the same hand.

God bless America.

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You're all wrong. There, I've said it. Camel too is wrong in his original post. The way to go, is to always say, ty in reply like the dumb moron you are.

That way you don't upset the impression you have been trying to foster with a load of trash talking, inappropriate or bizarre raises, lay downs etc, that you are, like the rest of the table, a clueless moron.

For that reason, I often say nh to any random hand that cracks my trip aces. But I hope never to give the impression of being sarcastic or even worse, IRONIC.

Prior comments that suggest at best, a hopeless nutter, at worst a truly appalling player are the way to go. Nothing else will do. Oh and it's more fun.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Belly Buster said...

Here's a 12th commandment.

If you folded two spades, and three spades hit the flop, don't mumble under your breath, thump the table, slouch right back in your chair and stare at the ceiling. The guy with the ace of spades probably doesn't appreciate it.


1:18 PM  

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